clever_creative
clever_creative

male (57) from Columbia, Maryland looking for female.

I don't use Icebreaker to connect with people.

Icebreaker helps to contact new members which I'm interested in.

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WHY are we into it?

Only a few more days left on here as a paid patsy. This place is such a rip off. I was watching a Robin Williams comedy show and he had a bit on the sex organs. He's right; why the hell are we so into sex, or at least act like we are? Has anyone really looked at the sex organs? They're hideous! The male and female sex organs are gross. Why do you think it is called "bumping uglies?"

And people want to go down on these organs. They want to lick or suck or whatever - in the area where we … and shit. WTF? Good lord that is revolting.

And of course so many people want to shave off their pubic hair in that area now. Why? Maybe it was there for a reason - like disguising the heinous appearance which is that of the sex organ. On young women it gives on the uncomfortable feeling of sleeping with a 12 year old. On older women - it just doesn't look right. And on guys - I don't know what they're trying to say by chopping it all off. Damn weird ass world we live in.

Sex urges? We got those, but it seems easier to deal with using the hand rather than getting close to ugly city. People must do it cause they really, really love their mate and want to please them. Me? I think I'll take up a hobby.

  • clever_creative: Oh come now - if you are going to put a negative up, at least leave a comment as to why.
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I have to ask - what's wrong with a sexless marriage?
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Exercise seduction fail

There was a time a cute woman was trying to seduce me. Because I am not a game player I found that annoying. So - what happened you ask? Well we had gone for a morning run and she invited me in for breakfast. Sure - why not - I was hungry.

So she puts on what she thinks is a sexy tank top (no bra) shorts (no panties) and puts her hair up in a ponytail (for the record - I hate ponytails).

She went about trying to be seductive while making the waffles and bacon and such (bending way over, etc) but I played it cool and clueless. I got a great breakfast out of it and was on my way without having to bed her. I found out later through a mutual friend that she was furious that her seduction hadn't worked. Ha ha!

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Food sex

So one night one of my ex's was horny; I was not. I just wanted to relax and watch tv. She kept whining about coming to the bedroom to "cuddle." So I got a jar of peanut butter and smeared it all over her naked body. I then crumpled saltine crackers over the peanut butter. She thought I was going to eat it of her. I didn't. I left her on the bed. She couldn't move or she would make a mess. I ended up watching some great shows that night. Life is good.

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I DO NOT SKYPPE! If anyone contacts me to do so I will call you a moron to your face!
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Preparing for roleplay

So... back in my day I used to do a lot of special visual effects for various fetish sites. This was between 1997 and 2000. I even guested on a few of them. The sites were usually superheroines in peril sorts of things -very hot. So I would have to make up the props for the "death traps" and the models would come in to do the shoot. I remember one where the trap was that the heroine was stripped nude except for her mask, boots and gloves. She was tied to two rollers and her body was covered with body paint. She was then rolled over butcher paper making sexy multi color prints all over the paper canvas. I - as the villain was directing this master stroke of heoine humiliation for the whole shoot. Once we were done, the model and I were so turned on we fucked like bunnies on the painted paper. My knees were blue/yellow/red for a few days...

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Sweet Freedom

Well I just got back from … and canceling my membership. I still have it for 27 more days, but won't have that ridiculous charge after that. Anybody else smart enough to do the same?

Trust me, I am not the type to be in a bad humor; I just knew from the outset that the number of fakes/strip-o-grams was going to be off the richter scale. I try to be at least polite enough when dealing with these people, but they get very flustered and annoyed when found out. I told one of the strip-o-grams "I can see that anywhere for free on the web, why do I need to join this site for that?" and they came back with "Then get lost fucker!" Tsk, such manners.

Do you want to know pretty much how to tell whom the real women are on the site? They are the ones without the perfect hair, the gorgeous faces, and the drop dead fit and firm bodies. They do not have websites, skpe and yawhoo accounts that they are trying to shove down your throats. They do not start every IM with "I am horny and lonely. What are you up to?"

So maybe these last 27 days I will find someone to hook up with - but I'm not going to hold my breath. Those of you that shake off the haze of desperation that this site somehow honestly works for REAL people may want to consider cancelling too.

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Polite Manners?

I was reading the "how to pick up girls" article that is on the right, and it talked about polite manners being used when contacting someone. I in general am not a rude, crude person but even I said "Really?"

The name of the site is FUCKBOOK for Pete's sake. The pics and the headings that these "women" (aka fakes) contact me with are nude and have headings of wanting me to screw their brains out. So on this point Fuckbook gets an F for Failure on the "how people should be treated here" issue.

It won't really matter as I have no intention of going beyond my month of service here. Unless some of the other people here are just completely desperate, I'd suggest they do the same.

  • clever_creative: Then your photos and opening clever statement should reflect that.
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