stacydoesdallas's Blog

92. The Throne of Lightning - This is done by fucking a girl while you shit in a … When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her head in the … while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica album

93. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift donkey punch to the back of her head, knocking her … You then turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her face. Then you shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you jizzed on her, making a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's.

94. Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a girl and then she puts her two big butt cheeks on your face like holiday hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but instead of just putting the cheeks on your head she farts on it too.

95. PEUM - An acronym coined by a group of … assholes that defines the annoying (and uncontrollable) tendency to … in multiple directions after a raucous fuck: Post-Ejaculatory Urinary Misfire.

96. The Beverly Hills Whiffer -This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, … as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"

97. Shanghai Shampoo - Fuck a chick until you've built up a load large enough to paint a room. Blow it all in her hair, rub it in thoroughly. When it dries it will resemble the crunchy noodles often served with chop suey.

    98 . Frosting the Cake - When you are about to cum, blow a load all over her chest. Then take your dick and evenly spread the Jism around the breasts and over the nipples. Then stick some candles on it and start singing "Happy Birthday." Then blow out the candles

98. Spicey Stanley - When a girl takes hot sauce and pours it on your cock. She then proceeds to give you a blowjob, making sure all of the hot sauce is gone.

    100.The Brodieruption - while a girl is speaking loe genitalese to you, right before you shoot soul sauce down her gullet, rip ass right in her face, á la brodie and renee, in mallrats.

    101.Toboggan - when you attack from behind on your partner, push them and then ride them down the stairs like a tobaggon sled.

    102.Snowball - this is after your partner gives you head and then when you cum in her mouth she attempts to make out with you.

    103.Dirty Snowball - this is of the original snowball but instead of her trying to make out with you, she makes out with someone else.(This gives you negative points in a Sex point scale Game)

    104.Golf - this is when you are eating out a girl and then grab her pubic hair and yank it and yell "FORE" please send me a message so that i know you got these. thanks again and hope to see these on your new lists..

    105.Milking The Cow - Have sex with a girl with a rubber on, then afterwards pull the rubber off ever so carefully so that all of your specimens are in the bottom then while laying down after sex hold it upside down over her face and use the condom while pretend your milking cow utters.

99. The Pirate Maker - When your sitting on a girls face and she's sucking on your nuts, you start poking her in the eye with your cock.

    107.Spanish Inquisition - This is kind of like the Snowmobile. While fucking a woman in the ass, grab her arms and bring them up behind her, arching her back. Then yell, "Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition." For some variation, add a donkey punch.

100. The Volcano - Blow your load on someone's ass crack. Then wait for them to fart and cause the cum to spurt out.

101. Corn Flakes - This requires a really dirty partner. When you're about to cum, shoot it in her ear. If she's dirty enough, she'll have plenty of ear wax. Hopefully, the ear wax will float atop the semen. With the correct coloration, her ear will look like a bowl of milk and cereal.

102. Ali - When give a guy a hummer, start punching his nutsack as if it were a punching bag.

103. The Lloyd Bridges - When she's giving the head job and you're just about to blow, twitch and yell "Who is it?" She will look around. Blow in her ear. She will look confused, and will jerk her head repeatedly to one side, just like Lloyd Bridges did to get the seawater out of his ear in Sea Hunt. (For those too young to remember, he was a crime-busting scuba diver).

104. The Triple Crown of Sex - In the yapper, the snapper and the crapper all in the same session.

105. Tombstone 69 - while having standing 69 with her upside down, wait till you cheeze then exclaim "tombstone" and drop her on her head WWF style. With any luck she will proceed to expell "angry dragon" style as well because of the impact. Important note: make sure your dick is not in her mouth anymore when you tombstone her

106. Shanghai Stirfry - when a girl gives you a blowjob, pukes all over your cock and keeps going.

107. A Hot Carl - when you withdraw your shaft from the bowels of her anus and place it directly into her mouth for a cleaning. (note: we all thought this one was only for 2 guys...)

108. The Halmstad Hook - This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.

109. Give a Cat a Bath - the act of trying to insert your testicle into a girls asshole, this is very hard to do, hence "give a cat a bath"

110. Ralph Malph - puke all up in her snatch while munching her box.

111. Breakfast at Tiffany's - the act of eating a soft-boiled egg from your girl's pussy.

     120.Karen Carpenter - fucking a chick in the ass while she vomits. Feels a lot like a multi-donkey punch.

112. The Mushroom Tattoo (aka Mushroom Welt/print) - when a chick's going down on you, you pull it out, pull it back and whip her in the forehead with it....thus....mushroom tattoo

113. Squeegee - when your fucking a girl in the ass, when your about to cum, you stick a pin in one of her ass cheeks, thus making her clench up and cleaning all the shit off your cock as you pull out at the same time.

114. Cunt Trumpet - While down on a chick, place your lips solidly over her love hole and blow, watch her stomach rise as she fills with air. Then, with a firm hand push down on her stomach to let all the air out like the beautiful sound of a trumpet

115. Rodeo Fuck - When you are doing your girl doggystyle, bend over and whisper in her ear, "your almost as good a lay as your sister..." Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

116. Seal the Envelope - When hooking up with a really … girl and she passes out before you cum, turn her over and blow your load all over her ass crack. When it drys, it will seal her butt cheeks together and she will have to pry them open the next day - hence, sealing the envelope

117. The Shocker (aka The Alien) - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink

118. Louisville Slugger - Your girl is on her knees in front of you servicing your pole. At some random point in time during this act you pull out, twist your hips, yell "BATTER UP!!!!" and smack her firmly in the cheek with your baseball bat like cock.

119. Wet Jessy - Sneak into a girls bedrooms while she's sleeping and Jack Off on her.

120. Pearl Harbor (for the ladies) - Right after sucking a guy off stand up and spit his jizz right back in his face, then yell "Tora, Tora, Tora!"

121. The Mumbler - A girl in pants that are too tight (you can see the lips moving but you can't make out what they're saying).

122. The Gardener - when you are doing a girl from behind, you pause and yank the hairs(weeds) from her asshole, then you proceed to "sow your seed" by cumming on her anus.

123. The Wheelbarrow - Man and woman are going at it doggystyle on the floor, then the man grabs the woman's legs and stands up, leaving the woman's arms on the ground, and starts running around the room, continuing to bang away...

Damn thats a long post, but its pretty fucking hilarious and just plain wrong in some situations.