I felt like I could drop this here without embarrassment.  Okay, so I began my sexual experience, I was not in love with it. I loved the intimacy and the attention even caressing from time to time.  But if I felt my enjoyment was noticeable I would pull away.  I didn't want you to see how wet I got or feel my muscles spasm with enjoyment.  Anything I couldn't control.  My boyfriends use to beg me for sex.  It would only happen if I felt like I couldn't avoid it any longer. 

Once I hit 40...SMH It's like a switch has been turned on and all I can think about is SEX.   I want you to want me even if I don't want you.  I want to be ravished. (every once in a while)  As if you want me so bad you lose control.  You know its wrong but you cant stop yourself. Okay.Whew! That's better.  Now I can go on with my day.