southern29168's Blog

I'm feminine helplessness, in lavender darkness, tethered taut and yet comfortable

Forced to wait, alone with my thoughts, doubts and fears

Here again where I shouldn't be, but the only place I truly belong

Taking a desperate, kinky vacation from my perfect little vanilla world

As usual, I start to lecture myself, condescending tone

Admonishment, for not being satisfied with love, success and all the trappings

But then, the emptiness swells, filling my heart with sadness

This dark craving, this need that again cannot be denied any longer

How I am so addicted to this evil fantasy world

Like a wicked little Alice, needing her fetish fix, to be fixed in chains and manacles

Submission for me is everything, the core of my very being

This truest self that my love and no one else gets, can understand

That is with the exception of one for whom I wait, bittersweet longing

Who has secured me in these bonds, answered my desperate pleas with a bright red ball, gagged silence

He knows this good little girl is really so very bad

In need of a severe spanking, and oh so much more

Is not afraid to … me, making me His damsel in distress

So that my Sir can indulge His most wicked desires, liberate my most intense ecstacy thru my four favorite letters, BDSM

When on my knees before Him, I feel adored, special

For I become the center of His brutal but loving universe

Our hours of play are a perverted rollercoaster of exhilaration

Mixed with headgames, discipline, and unbridled lust

Just when I think I've experienced all of His tricks, endured all of His tests

He toys with with me in a new way, pushing my envelope, but never triggering my safe word

My trust in Him is complete, allowing my Master to steal my very breath away

Only to give it back just in the nick of time, and then repeat

I am always blue, … when our time is up, when I must leave

Begrudgingly going back to my life with fading bruises and a deliciously painful reminder when I sit down

Finally getting home, I kiss my lover and flash him a contented smile he thinks is for him

But my mind is already daydreaming, longing for the next time with the One who truly knows, accepts, and loves all of me