enigma67's Blog

Principles of Human Relations

All these principles are FACTS I have gleaned over the years from my own story and the stories of many others. They are very REAL and irrefutable.

1. First Principle: “You do not get to choose love”. You got what you got…you really don't “choose” your baby, BUT you KNOW you will love them forever correct? Let’s get even more sensual. When that baby nuzzles up to you, you can FEEL the pleasurable effect of your “milk let down”, if you are a woman, and the sense of pride if you are a man. You don’t choose this, it happens, as a result of “the experience”, and your “biochemistry”. Why shouldn’t similar things happen between men and women? I do not mean milk let down! I mean a “reaction” that releases oxytocin. You see a guy, or a gal, and stuff either happens, or it doesn’t. Right? And over a period of time with repeated “exposure” and “experiences”, if you are wise, you recognize “you love”.

2. Second Principle: “Love never goes away”. Your baby poops on you, vomits on you, pees on you, screams and cries at you. How much different if a man lies to you, or cheats on your relationship. It HURTS because you wish they wouldn’t but you STILL LOVE!

3. Third Principle: “You don’t choose how you feel, but you ALWAYS choose what you DO!” You CAN put your baby up for adoption (perish the thought), and you can leave that guy. BUT you still will LOVE. You in fact love everyone you ever loved, it doesn’t go away. You can slap his face, scream, and cry. But you still love. You can do the same with your baby, but you still love. There are Pathological Acts, as well as Thoughts.

4. Fourth Principle: “You cannot control others, what they feel or what they do.”

   You can “manipulate” others, but not “control” them. People and things tend to do the unexpected, when it is least expected. You can hide the red scarf from the bull, but he may charge you anyway. You can wave the red scarf in front of the bull, but he may be sleeping. It’s the same with people. SOMETIMES you can get them to do things in expected ways…but not always.

5. Fifth Principle: "You don't own anyone, but all your loves own you" You may have some control of things and people (as above) but they exert an influence over what you do, or do not do. Your car owns you, not the reverse. And so Your loved one owns you, you don't own them.

6. Sixth Principle "Love ALWAYS hurts"!!! No escape. If you love something or someone, it/they will inevitably hurt or disappoint you, or ignore you, or be destroyed, or die, or get sick, or wear out, its just a matter of time, until some eventuality befalls you and or them or it.

7. Seventh Principle "Money is almost always toxic to love, affection or friendship". Even when well intentioned, and welcomed by both parties, money can be destructive. The buying and selling part of a personality is very different and apart physically and emotionally, from the part that recognizes and loves another person.

8. Eighth Principle “There is always a difference in the need for LOVE”. At any given moment in a relationship, one party needs the love of the other more. Two people rarely need each other equally, even while making love. One partner always needs the other more, some times a great deal more. There is never a balance. The amount, and the time and which one is in need of love, will change. So, there is always some level of tension in any relationship, sometimes that tension can be enormous. This principle applies to any two or more people.