AskAnnie's Blog

So Annie, so any tips on what women are looking for?

When I first read this question in my inbox a small laugh fell out and I spluttered my coffee. You really can't get much of a broader question, so many women, so many different desires; how the hell do I give justice in my reply? I thought about it some more and then it occured to me, love languages. The answer is as simple as that.

Let me elaborate in case you are not familiar with the term, Love Languages. In 1995 the book 'The 5 Love Languages' was published, written by Dr Gary Coleman and not a more inspired book as ever been written. If you haven’t done so I recommend you read it, it completely changed my views on relationships. The concept is, every one has their own language of how they give love and receive love.... and you may be getting frustrated with this already saying to yourself, I want a fuck, not love... but hear me out because these principals are so profound they translate into lust, friendship, parenting, work relationships just about any relationship you might think of. For the purposes of this blog however, I will concentrate on the presumption we are only talking about a dating relationship, and you are asking, 'how do I know what she is looking for?'. The answer? Work out her love language and you will know how to make yourself attractive because you meet what she is looking for.

There are 5 love languages:

- Physical Affection (I want you to hug me)

- Words of Affirmation (tell me how wonderful I am)

- Gifts (buy me a gift)

- Quality Time (take me out for a date)

- Acts of Service (Do something thoughtful for me)

The clues to working out what a woman wants is to learn her love language (hint, people generally give how they like to receive). Once you know this you can treat her in a way that she feels appreciated, thus being an awesome partner!

Not sure where to start? Ok so let’s consider some scenarios. Let’s play a game of ‘Would you Rather?’ Would you rather I surprise you with some sexy new lingerie (gifts) or that I give you an all body sensual massage (physical affection)?

Let’s take it up a notch to be in the context of fucking; Would you rather I send you sexy dirty messages throughout your day? (words of affirmation) or send you cheeky naked selfies from work (act of service)?

Ok so let’s assume you work out what her love language is, how do you win them over? Give them what they desire!

Physical Affection- LOTS OF SEX, touching, public displays of affection, massages, hand holding.

Words of Affirmation- TELL HER how hot she is looking, how much you are turned on by her, how you want to fuck her, what things she does that drive you wild.

Gifts- SURPRISE HER with gifts, flowers, small treats, buy her dinner.

Quality Time- MAKE TIME to see her, spend quiet time with just the two of you, take her away on a romantic/dirty weekend.

Acts of Service- DO SOMETHING that shows you value her, stick up for her when someone is being unfair to her, solve a problem she has.

Get the idea? So while every woman might ‘want’ something different, You might hear ‘I want a man to take me for wild weekends away’, “i want a regular sex partner’, ‘I want someone to talk dirty with’. etc etc. essentially all those wants fit into those neat 5 little languages.

Learn her language, win over the woman.