Creirwy's Blog

A week has passed

A week has passed since. Since that amazing night. That night where I discovered something new in myself. That night where I gave into desires like I haven’t before. It changed me, it changed what I felt, want I desired and what I wanted for myself.

I woke up the next morning next to my friend. She had no idea of what I had done. On the inside that made me giggle like a little schoolgirl. She was so close to it but had no idea of wat had passed and what I had done. If only she knew. What would she have said, what would she have thought?... Better not to ask or tell. It was a secret only I knew in the house and it was probably for the best.

Thinking back to the night now has become an instant turn-on. Thinking back to those feelings I had, the excitement I felt and the pleasure soaring through my body. It has plagued me ever since, and not in a bad way but it happens at the most well… not best times so to say. At college it’s not great to let your mind wander during lectures as you are trying to pay attention to the teacher. Especially when it wanders to something like that. Just feeling those tingly feelings while sitting in the classroom, having nowhere to go, just feeling trapped.

Back at home seeing the room it happened in is a constant reminder of it. And I have created my own vicious circle of constant reminders of that horny night. I was convinced not giving in to my primal desires of wanting to orgasm as soon as I become horny gave me that amazing experience and I wanted to expand on that feeling.

I decided not to cum for the rest of the week while not trying to avoid things that would make me horny. I would still talk to 2 special people to me on xham and would still watch video’s if I’d feel the desire but I was not allowed to cum for the rest of the week.

This…… was a mistake…

As I soon discovered it was very, very difficult to keep control over myself and not give into those desires. The first day I survived since I still was kind of recovering from the night before. The second day it already felt difficult and I noticed myself trying to cheat because everytime I walked passed the living room I’d be reminded of those feelings.

My hands would linger down my bra holding my boob or nipples as I was just sitting in my room trying to get some work done. I’d squeeze my legs together and lean in to put more pressure on my pussy and clit having that slight feeling of pleasure. It’d make me wet and feel undeniably horny, but I kept myself from giving in touching myself.

Wednesday…. Another day.. but not like any of the others… what happened Wednesday night would change me.

Goddess

I couldn’t sleep well and woke up every couple of hours, was this the result of not cumming? I don’t know but it was annoying as hell. As I do at night and I can’t sleep… I turned on my laptop and went to Xham. Then I saw, she was online. I was very happy, we’ve always had such nice chats, and I felt we really clicked very well from the first time we started chatting. Not just chatting about sex but also about general life and experiences. Over time we had gotten to know each other pretty well, teasing each other into playing with ourselves and enjoying ourselves. We clicked on so many levels and experienced things in the same way with the same feelings. That made me feel really connected to her.

As we spoke for a little bit I told her about what I tried to do, she was so nice as she told me she wouldn’t tease me… too much…. (I didn’t believe her). She even wanted to try and keep control too over herself and not giving into her desires, even if it was for just 1 night as she already said she wouldn’t be able to not give in for several days. We already discovered that we both had a high sex drive and hidden desires.

I told her we should edge together and then go to sleep without cumming, I instantly regretted this when I said it but she agreed and that made me even more turned on if that even was a possibility. In her daily life she already did that as she was not free to give into those desires whenever she wanted, even at home.

I asked her to make sure I wouldn’t touch myself too much and make sure I didn’t cum. On the one side I really wanted to see how much control I had and what it would lead to if I kept that control. On the other hand I already was wet as my hand was exploring my panties on the outside. I could already feel it and I wanted to just give in and give into the pleasure. She agreed to keep an eye on me as I asked her if it was okay to touch myself a little bit. We talked about how she had received a video from her Xham lover of him cumming and how much it turned her on and it made her crazy. I confided into her how I love seeing men cum as I started slowly drawing circles over my clit with my index finger. My hips wanted to push my clit against my fingers but I concentrated and restrained myself from getting to much stimulation. Just the slightest touch was allowed.

She agreed how much that was a turn on for her as well seeing and hearing a man you like cum. How it would make her want to be with him to suck him off until he would breathe deeply and moan. The image was planted in my brain of feeling a hard cock on my lips and having my tongue slide over it. It gives such an empowered feeling, a feeling we both shared. I had to stop touching myself, my clit was already pulsating and swollen by the thoughts I had and the feeling of my fingers playing. I had to stop now or I could not stop anymore. She reminded me to keep control over myself. I joked to her that I should bound to the bed to make sure I wouldn’t touch anymore, and to tease her mentioned she should sit on my face while I was bound. As she usually is a submissive person this wouldn’t have been something she’d think about but as I planted that image in her mind she opened up to that idea being with me and wanting to feel that. I’d eat her out until she’d squirt on my face. It would be the first time I’d eat a girl out but it would not be the last would that happen. She started sweating as we teased each other trying not to touch as she wasn’t alone either.

I could feel my clit throbbing for it, she wanted to be touched so bad, it was like it was the only body part I could feel at that point in time. I was filled with desires for her at this point and all I wanted was to feel her wet, soft lips against mine kissing her, feel her body against mine and spend all night with each other. As we kept teasing and talking we both felt something had changed between us, had become stronger. I confessed to her that I really felt a deeper connection with her and it was something that I had never experienced before, especially with another woman. She told me she felt the same and she had never been able to be so open with another woman like we had been. Her saying this just filled me with joy, warmth and desires for her and making her feel like the Goddess that she is to me.

At this point we’d been talking for 2 hours without us noticing the time. I’d tease her some more telling her how hard my nipples felt, how it would feel to have a hard cock in her wet, swollen, hungry pussy. She squeezed her legs even tighter trying to feel pleasure without touching herself. I totally forgot as I was imagining her lying in bed how I was rubbing myself again. I already was so close to cumming I could not believe how I did not notice. To make sure I wouldn’t touch myself I started to type more, … her knowing that she could almost cum without even touching herself. She had an increasingly more difficult time controlling herself and honestly I loved … her like hits, it was a new experience for me to make anyone feel that way, let alone another woman. But like the rules of edging, at some point you have to stop and control yourself as you shake and ride that wave of warmth right before you cum.

We both admitted how amazing we felt and how much we felt for each other. I had never experienced something like it before and I did not know what to do with myself. The only things I wanted to do now was hug and kiss her. I felt butterflies in my stomach and I cried. I don’t know why, it all felt so special, so good, so intense and the connection was real. I felt so much love and I did not know what to do with it accept for telling her.

As it slowly became morning our daily lives would seep into the conversation. As I had some more time she told me I should sleep some more. I didn’t want to leave her but as I closed my eyes and thought of her I slowly fell asleep. Dreaming about a Goddess that would be right next to me.

Distractions

She was the only thing I could think of now during the day and during the night. I was in luck as I had promised a friend to eat at her place the next day and spent the night. Hopefully this would distract me enough to get through the day. As the day slowly passed it was almost night time, and the same feelings of the day before started to rise up again. My friend noticed I was a bit.. off and acted a bit different than normal. I sighed a lot trying to shift my mind from the feelings that I had and tried to act normal. I guess she did notice that a lot as she kept asking me if I was okay. As she was preparing to go to sleep I quickly logged on to send my Goddess a picture of me and how much trouble I had getting through it all. She showed me support and added a little tease. I think she enjoyed seeing me feeling this …

I woke up early in the morning as I tend to do. It was 5 AM. My heart was pounding like crazy and I could feel it pounding in my clit again. Did you touch myself during my sleep? Did I dream about sex with her? I don’t know what happened, I woke up and the only thing I could think about was getting off. I started questioning again why I was doing this to myself and then remembered what it could lead to and the pleasure it would give me when I could hold on. I fell asleep again.

It was Friday morning, the last day I told myself. The last day of staying in control and keeping myself from feeling the pleasure I was craving. I kept myself busy throughout the day just looking forward to the next day I went to bed early and actually slept really well.

The Day

Today was the day. I actually felt in control, I felt so powerful of what I had achieved at that time, getting through all those moments and staying in control. I decided to do some shopping as the holidays are starting to get closer every day. I felt so confident in myself I went into town without panties or a bra. I had mad cleavage going on as I thought Fuckit! Today is my day and I felt like I could. As I was shopping I noticed a couple of married men were looking my way into my shirt as I passed them. I felt so sexy and I knew I could have them if I wanted to. I opened my coat and walked around with hard nipples teasing them more and more. They could not keep their eyes off me which made me feel empowered, horny and wanting more. I quickly jumped on my bicycle and went to the supermarket getting some wine to enjoy myself later on in the evening.

I got home and 2 of my housemates had left for the weekend. 1 stayed, she’d stay the whole weekend but would go out later tonight. It was the perfect opportunity for me to enjoy myself while being alone in the house. No distractions, nothing to hold me back.

I opened a bottle of wine settling in, I closed my door, locked it and laid down in my bed. I had my laptop beside me and opened up the conversations I had with my Goddess. As I was reading through that night I drank my wine, I don’t know which made me feel better or warmer but it felt like the perfect combination. My hand went down my shirt and started squeezing and stroking my breast, quickly my fingers found their way to my nipples. They had been teased the entire day being hard and easy to see. Drawing circles over my nipple barely touching them I could feel a warm tingly feeling go through me. I’m pretty sure it just made me smile like a crazed idiot finally giving into those feelings and knowing I could finally act on those feelings. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling for just a bit. It took me back to that night feeling all those desires, they all came back to me and it was like they all released at the same time. My body clenched and I felt my pussy dripping already. I finished my glass quickly and poured another one. I couldn’t hold it any longer, I took off my shirt and pants, laid down a towel underneath me as I knew I would be wet like I had not ever experienced before. I jumped back into the bed and started teasing both my nipples. My pussy was already dripping as I was felt the pleasure flowing through my body, that hot warm feeling. I had put up a picture of my Goddess on my laptop and I watched her. My hand flowed over my belly down to my pussy, my legs wide open. I imagined her being down there between my legs and every touch I felt was her hand or tongue pleasuring me. Out of habit I licked my hand but I already was so wet I did not need it. I spread my lips and focused my fingers on my clit. It was so sensitive and immediately I moaned as I started touching myself.

I pulled up my legs and let my hand go up and down across my lips, feeling every little touch added to my satisfying feeling of giving into how horny I was. Two fingers slipped into my as I took a deep breath. That was the feeling I wanted for so long. I felt my inner walls as I put 2 fingers in my mouth sucking on them, making them all wet and slimy. My legs opened back up and I started fingering myself faster and my other hand went to my clit. I wanted to cum so badly but I wanted to enjoy the night as well taking the time to do so. I pulled my fingers out of my pussy and tasted them, I imagined it was how she would taste after I would pleasure her.

I rolled over on my belly, put my ass up in the air and spread my legs. My eyes glanced over my laptop, seeing her amazing body.. I couldn’t hold it any longer. I had to cum.. I had to cum thinking of her. I started fingering myself again. I was so wet a third finger slipped in, it felt so good. Going faster.. I started breathing more heavily, I pressed my head into my pillow… moaning.. letting it go.. letting myself go and finally building towards that release. I was moaning her name, imagining that she was making me cum, yes I was getting so close. The warm fuzzy feeling came over me, there it was, I stopped breathing, my brain exploded, my entire body was shaking. I wanted to release a deep breath but I couldn’t my entire body was tensed up. It felt so good, I wanted more, I was not done yet. After a second of catching my breath I got up, grabbed my dildo from my nightstand and put it on the floor. I was in dire need of that feeling for going up and down on a hard cock. I put it on the ground and let it slide into me. It slid in so easily, I was so wet.

The ribbed dildo was sliding up and down in me, my hands were going through my hair grabbing my head in unbelief of the pleasure I was feeling. I saw myself in my mirror and it was like something took a hold of me, I never had been so expressive to myself about my own pleasure. It was really arousing letting it go moaning towards myself, looking myself in the eye as I was fucking my dildo on the floor. I could already feel myself getting close again to cumming. Breathing louder and louder I heard the front door close. I totally forgot about my housemate being home and she finally left for the night. I opened up my door and check to be sure. I called out if anyone was home and it was dead quiet.

Maybe she heard me and left, maybe not. I could care less and I was happy to be alone. Quickly I moved to the living room, where it all started. I wanted to go back to that moment I experienced before, where I came so intense. I sat down on the couch, spread my legs, looked around and remembered what I had done. I rubbed my dildo over my pussy closing my eyes and let it slide in again. I grabbed it tight and started slamming into, harder, faster. I felt so good. I wanted to cum again and fast.. I continued.. Yes… YESS… God yess that’s what I wanted all this time. I felt everything tighten up again. I was going to cum.. Yes… I felt a pressure building I hadn’t before.. I was just guching all over the place as I kept fucking myself… I was squirting! There was so much cum coming out of me! Omg what was happening, It feel so good, I can’t stop!

I slowed down, I felt so fuzzy and warm. I couldn’t think.. I was exhausted. My head fell back, and I started laughing. My god I felt so good. I licked off my dildo tasting my own cum. It was so hot, it felt so good, I’d never been in such a state of bliss before.

My goddess you’ve made me feel things I had never felt before. I have to thank you for all you have done for me and to me. You make me feel like a complete woman, like who I am and who I should be.