dlove_rm's Blog

So, a few years back there was this girl. Let’s just call her Valeria. Notice he unique spelling of her name. She was just as unique as that. Very much like a best friend and yet, something more as well. I fell pretty hard and while even though we were both very young, I was convinced she was perfect for me and I was set out to make myself perfect for her. Of course, being so young, I was also so very very stupid. I had no idea how to express my feelings and I did so completely wrong and wound up driving her away. I had no idea how far I could drive a person but as it turned out it was to another state. Another US state. Yeah – her family moved away and I hardly ever saw her again.

Fast forward a few years and what do you know but we both wound up living in the same city. It was crazy. Of course there were now all new complications. I was married, she was married, and it was not to each other so – yeah – complications. But we renewed a friendship. Lunches occasionally, movies, shopping, and then we found we both liked similar things. We both wrote stories. So we started to exchange stories. She recognized rather quickly the feelings I was having for her. She probably saw them even before I saw them, but yet, complications. But we were harmlessly flirting, no big deal and while I wanted more, I was convinced she would not allow that to happen and I was just setting myself up for hurt. So I would then withdraw and back away, and this upset Val. It was a lesson I would learn again – don’t back away just learn and move on. So learning ensued.

More stories, more fantasies, more desire. There was a period of time I actually lived right next door to Val. Oh talk about awkward then. And complicated. By this time, her husband had learned of my feelings (or at least had strong suspicions and he didn’t care much for me. So that made it VERY interesting living. We worked it out, I still would not call us friends, not by any stretch of the imagination, I mean – after all – I am very interested in his wife. Oh there I said it – wow – that makes it real now doesn’t it? But I am. That year or so living beside her was definitely awkward to say the least. There were some exciting moments and some less than wonderful moments. Oddly enough, the exciting moments involved moments of just her and I. Nothing would happen, maybe an exchange of words in our playful manner but it would set my mind a reeling with all the possibilities. The fantasies in my mind would swirl. Things like, the kitchen island, her work desk in the office, the patio furniture on the deck, all these things would come into play and we would make wonderful use of them all. Yes my mind was a wonderful place to be. And I enjoy retreating there quite often . I can make the greatest things happen in my mind. But alas, its only in my mind and I still wanted more. I still want more.

It was from this desire for more that we created “someday”. Someday is the day when we will finally allow ourselves to express our feelings toward each other openly and act upon them. The day when will see if more really will happen. I know I look forward to someday. I try to work the word “someday” into conversation with her all the time. I probably push too hard for it but I am excited. Im like a kid in a candy shop. That could almost be a literal translation because Val is sweet. And I can imagine eating her. Ohh there I said it again - . My mind it just goes where it wants to – and I think we all know where it wants to go. Alas there are times it seems like “someday” is just a fantasy. That it will never really happen. But one never knows, I can always hope. Someday she will try on a little pink dress I bought her. Someday she and I will shop at Cirilla’s for – what is it again? – a vibrating cock ring – that she says I should have. LOL. Yeah – we talk about ALL sorts of things. Someday I will remove all of her clothing, drop to my knees before her, gently part her legs and kiss her things all the way up to her warm, moist, vaginal lips and slip my tongue inside her and suckle upon her clitoris as my hands grope her heaving … breasts gently squeezing and pinching playfully her nipples. I want to hear her moan as I bring forth her wetness and make her orgasm and try desperately to hold herself upright but not sure she can. As she collapses I can catch her and carry her to a more comfortable place and take my time finishing her orgasm for her. Someday will be a good day I believe.

Let’s fast forward to a recent day spent with her. It was a great day. She had visited before and had lost a ring at my place. I found it and now I was holding it for ransom. We had been teasing for a week or so about how I was holding it hostage. And she could have it back – someday. Yeah – see what I did there? I thought it was pretty clever. At any rate, we got together and I was wearing the ring. Just a gentle reminder and yes, she noticed. We spent the entire day together, walking, shopping, dining, going to a movie. She even came back to my place with me to put my groceries away. I was having a great time. However, I still made some critical mistakes during this day. We had done get togethers in the past and while I wanted something more, I have never really known what to do to spark this. Her being married, oh by the way, I am not married anymore, has made me gunshy to embark upon something because I don’t want to be the reason for disrupting her marriage. I also don’t want to let this woman slip thru my fingers again though. So it’s a very awkward position. The “right” thing for me to do is just be a friend. I keep telling myself that. And so I kindly gave her her ring back – well ok – I left it for her and told her where I put it. In retrospect, I wish I would have kept it til the end though because she literally asked what it would take to get her ring back. There could be some banter back and forth about what she was willing to do to get it back, and then some friendly negotiation to get “someday” jump started. Yeah, in my mind, I totally see that happening. What SHOULD have happened, during this entire day, is as follows. As we walked around the mall area, we should have held hands, strolled like we were a couple because for that day, it felt like we were a couple. I enjoyed it greatly. Instead I felt like I was leading her and that was just not cool. During the movie, some hand holding, put the arm rest up and put my arm around her, I mean, there was some eerie scenes, perhaps she could have used the comfort of an arm around her shoulder. Who knows, I might have used the classic arm around the shoulder and tried for second base – lol. Or maybe that is first base now days. Its hard to keep up with the bases nowadays. Is feeling a boob first or second base now? Anyway, just a thought. As we were walking, shopping, talking, etc, just some touching – heck – a PDA might have even occurred. Do you think it would be possible? Wow – that would be incredible. I wonder how well we would kiss together? Its odd to think I have fantasized more about sexual things than I have about a simple kiss, and yet right now, a kiss seems even more spectacular. Or well- as spectacular.

Yeah, someday has a lot of expectations. They wont all happen at once so Im thinking there will need to be a few somedays in the future. And that just further complicates matters even more. Im a bad person on one hand, and yet, I just cant help myself. I know what I want, its just – how do I go about getting there? I have tried patience. I have tried waiting. I don’t dare force the situation (that is even more wrong). And yet, I do keep pressuring and that is equally as wrong. How does that song go? If loving you is wrong, I don’t wanna be right? Well, there you go. I enjoy the challenge, and I do want to pursue “someday” and I can put up with a little bit of wrong if it leads me to right one day.

Now – if only I can get that ring back – then I can play out the hostage scenario again. Oh yeah wait a minute. I told you you could have the DVD of Fluffy movie. I still have that because you didn’t take it with you. So, what is that worth to you? HMMM????