dlove_rm's Blog

That is the Question

It was a cold winter night just before Christmas and Duane had to work late. It was a shame too, it was Friday, and Duane was an eligible young bachelor still well within his prime and devilishly handsome. He may have been pushing 40 but he had a body that looked like it was stolen from a college quarterback. He had brown hair that he kept short, and a goatee that was always well trimmed. He had blue eyes and was well tanned and very muscular, truth be told, he was fantasy material for most any woman on the planet. Unfortunately he also had the ego that told him that most women did. He knew he was a prime catch, and he planned on never getting caught. But tonight, there was no chance of getting caught because tonight there was no chance of playing the field. Duane was stuck at work. Duane had a job as a courier. It doesn’t sound special unless you know that Duane courier’s vital organs and donation materials for bio-organizations. Duane is a pilot as well as a registered driver. Duane can (and does) carry a gun for protection of the material he transports. And tonight, Duane is on a mission to deliver this red Igloo ice chest to St. Xavier on the Mount’s Operating Room. All he knew was that this organ was to save a young patient’s life. What he didn’t know was that it was going to save his life too.

Duane took off from the medical trauma unit on the roof of the Holyoak Manor in Ft. Morgan, TN at approximately 10:12am. His destination was nearly 6 hours away and he had to make that 6 hours seem like it was 4. Duane had a way of finding shortcuts in-flight to save time, but even this seemed like it was pushing it. Not to mention there was the threat of severe weather looming in the West. Duane was on his way to Minneapolis, MN. If he was late, then it was too late, and Duane doesn’t like being too late. It happened once, and it nearly cost him his career. Not from his boss or management, just because of himself. Its true Duane is chauvinistic when it comes to his treatment of women he dates or sleeps with, but deep inside, Duane is a caring individual who does not like feeling responsible in any way for the life (or death) of another human being. 7 years ago Duane had hit a pocket of bad turbulence that threatened to send his helicopter crashing into a ravine. Duane had to make several course corrections and it cost him time. When he landed on the roof, he was met by the medical staff saying that he patient had expired about 10 minutes before he arrived. Duane was on time until the weather, but Duane didn’t see it that way. He saw that he made several critical mistakes that cost this person their life. It caused him to drink heavily, lash out angrily at people until a friend of his helped him to see the light. She was a great friend, she moved away recently, perhaps he would look her up on this trip and say hello again. He had missed her, of all people.

Duane pressed on, he was ahead of schedule but that weather to the West was moving in fast. He wasn’t going to get caught up in that again. Duane’s helicopter was state of the art so Duane hit his booster engines and the copter roared and lunged forward at faster speeds and flew higher. Yes he would burn more fuel now, but he had plenty to get him there, and now he could fly higher and maybe above this storm. He could tell he was going to get caught in it and he needed to make up all the time he could.

It was now pushing Midnight, Duane figured he was nearly halfway there, he was making fantastic time it would seem. He radioed ahead to the tower and was alerted to the storms condition, and the patient’s. Duane proceeded on.

Duane had managed to avert a good portion of the storm and was approaching the rooftop of the hospital. Suddenly doom and dread came over Duane as he was decending the craft. There before him were 2 nurses and 2 doctors as well as man in a suit. This was exactly like the image from 7 years ago. Did something go wrong? Was Duane too late? He couldn’t be, he was early according to the clock. As he sat down on the roof, Duane was met by the man in the suit and told he needed to come with them. The nursing staff grabbed the cooler and the doctors pretty much watched. Unless they are in the Operating Room, they are pretty much worthless, at least the nurses thought that. Duane had to agree at this moment. The man in the suit introduced himself as the hospital … and began his conversation quite interestingly. “Sir, my name is Donnelly, Michael Donnelly. I’m the hospital … here and I would imagine you are wondering why we asked specifically for you to bring us this maginificent gift?”, he asked referring to the Igloo cooler. Duane was taken aback by this. He actually never thought about it because he actually didn’t know he was “requested” for this mission. Yes he knew it wasn’t his turn in the rotation for flying tonight, but he also knew that the Organ and Tissue Transport company he worked for liked to keep him busy so he didn’t have time to dwell on the events of 7 years ago, so they usually flew him whenever possible. He had just assumed it was possible this time as they said nothing about this being a special request.

Michael Donnelly continued, “Yes it really is a tragic affair, such a shame. I do hope this new heart will help the poor girl. Mary Kinsvater – I believe you know her?” Duane nearly crumpled over to the ground. Mary. That was the girl that helped him recover himself from his drinking and abuse problem. She was there when he needed her. She had just disappeared, moved to Green Bay he thought. Quite unexpectedly too it seemed. He never knew why but other than an occasional post card he didn’t hear much from her any more. She seemed happy, in fact he had just gotten a post card a few days ago. What happened?

“What happened?”, Duane asked in a very shaky uneasy voice. Normally he had a voice that was deep and bold, but not at this moment. At this moment it was like someone had taken his vocal cords and replaced them with a vibrator set on the highest setting. They were nervous and all a quiver.

“Strange accident really. She was walking along a nature trail we believe and suddenly it appears she either threw herself on a sharp stick jutting out of a tree, or she passed out and fell on a stick on the ground. At any rate, the stick was just like a knife, pierced her heart and caused irrepairable damage to the left ventricle valve. The doctors there (pointing to the two that were being useless at the moment) have done all they can to keep her going with repairs and artificial parts but this is the only thing that can save her. Let’s just hope it is a significant enough match to do the trick. “

Duane was beside himself. He didn’t know what to think, how to act, what to say, where to go, but mostly at this moment, he wasn’t even sure he knew how to walk himself off this roof. But somehow he found himself following everyone as they made their way to the elevator. On the ride down, so many questions raced through his mind, but the only one he could think of to ask, was probably the one that was of the least significance. “How did you know to ask for me?” he asked. “Why, because your name was listed as Ms. Kinsvater’s next of kin and emergency contact. But the funny thing was she only left your work phone number. Perhaps she figured that was the best place to reach you. “ Mr. Donnelly stated.

At this time the nurses and doctors were murmuring amongst one another trying to make preparations for how to proceed with the next steps. They were on a crucial timeline, but for Duane it was as though all of time just crashed around him. The rest of the way down on the elevator and all the while down the hallway, all Duane could do was to try and remember the wonderful, happy, smiling Mary he remembered before she moved away. Just before she left, he had remembered she had looked troubled, but she would never admit to anything being wrong. That was nearly 3 years ago now. Duane had written off that feeling as just a worry she must have had about moving though because soon after he received his first post card telling him how she had moved rather abruptly but all was ok and she was happy and doing well. Now that Duane recollected the post cards, they all said just about the same thing, no filler, just fluff. Something WAS wrong, he was convinced of that, but he had no idea what. Suddenly they were at the Emergency Operating Prep Room and Duane and the … had to stop here while the doctors and nurses proceeded on. Duane wanted to see her, but was told that was quite impossible right now. That he could observe from the overhead monitoring room if he liked.

Duane was quite sure that it would have to do since he could not see her otherwise. As soon as they arrived in the room and he looked out, he saw her face laying on the table, motionless, expressionless, and he had this feeling that it wasn’t Mary. But yet, the face was hers, just not the Mary he remembered. She looked so lifeless. The Mary he knew was FULL of life. “Oh Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary. What has happened these past few years?” Duane mumbled to himself? Duane used the phone on the wall to check in with his company. He made sure to let the dispatch know he was NOT pleased with the way they handled this request and then they transferred him to his boss. Mr. Jackson told Duane that yes he knew of the situation and had advised everyone not to say a word. He didn’t want Duane distracted from making his mission. He also told Duane to take as much time as he needed right now and that he was sending someone to collect the helicopter in the meantime. When he was ready, he could let the company know when to come get him and get him back to work. Until then, they were all praying for him and his fiance’s recovery.

“Fiance?” Duane said as he was hanging up the phone. “Where would they get THAT impression?” he thought to himself.

The doctors were prepping now and the long surgery would begin shortly. All Duane could do was watch, and occasionally doze off and sleep.

Sometime later Duane was being woken up by the doctors to let him know that the surgery was complete and that so far it appeared to be a success. They … him to a private room where he could rest and wait for Mary to arrive, and they also sent for the chaplain to help comfort him in this time of need. The chaplain discussed the sins of aggressive behavior and violent temperament and Duane could only chuckle as all of that was in his past. A past that Mary had helped him overcome. But the chaplain just kept going on about this topic. Finally Duane had to interrupt and politely asked, “I’m sorry sir but why are you almost lecturing me in your biblical fashion about this subject? I do not understand where this is leading.”

The chaplain had requested the … be on-hand as well and this is where Mr. Donnelly spoke up and said, “Sir, I am afraid I was not entirely honest with you before. Young Ms. Kinsvater did not just happen upon this stick. No, witnesses stated that she had been walking with a man, a man they believed to be her fiancé, and that they had a quarrel and he had said some most awful things to her, and then he plunged the stick through her chest and into her heart. We had assumed, since you were the emergency contact that you must be the fiancé in question. Were we mistaken?”

Duane wasn’t sure how to respond. First he was still shocked by the term fiancé, second he was bitterly angry that someone would do that to wonderful Mary, and third all he wanted to do was find them and rip their arms from their body and beat them with them. And then he thought about what the chaplain had been saying, and what Mary had said to him all those years ago about channeling that anger and aggression into something more productive. A smile crossed his face and he simply politely said, “Yes, I am afraid that you are mistaken. I am a very close personal friend of Mar…umm..Ms. Kinsvater’s and while I will admit, I am flattered you thought I could be this fiancé, I can assure you I am not. Oh at one time in my life I might have been even more easily mistaken for him. I had a moment a few years back where I was drinking and abusive in a very bad way, but that young woman was my friend then and she still is today. She was my friend when I needed her, and now, I will be her friend when she needs me today.”

Suddenly the alarms went off in the wing and a code blue was called out. Mary was in trouble, and Duane could feel that she was. It was a strange sensation. It seemed that Mary was rejecting the heart. They changed the medication and increased the dosage in the IV drip, that seemed to get her under control. They were going to have to monitor this more closely. The turned to see Duane just standing behind them, a smile on his face, then they noticed he was staring right at her, and they looked at her, and it almost seemed that she too had a smile on her face. Then, just as suddenly, Duane left the room and left the hospital. He had to find out what had happened. Who had done this to Mary. And why. Duane went straight to … where he learned as much as he could from a Detective Shields. Not a lot to go on, everyone thought the guy had left town fearing he would be caught. They had some photos from different traffic and bank ATM cameras. Apparently he had done his best to empty her bank accounts before he left, and he had done a good job of it. But there he was, a photo. Something to go on. And yet, in a strange city, where the cops had had no luck so far, how was he going to succeed? He took the information and proceeded back to the hospital. He needed to check on Mary again. When he arrived at her door, he was greeted by nurses who had informed him she had smoothed past the worst of it and was doing better now. The doctors would be in shortly if he wanted to know more.

Duane sat in a chair beside Mary and dozed off again. What woke him though was not something he expected. Someone kicked his chair, and then kicked him. They were being abusive and loud. When he opened his eyes, there he was, standing over him, the man that did this to Mary. “Why?” was all Duane could mutter. “Why?!?! “, the man mocked him in a whimsical tone. “It’s because she controlled all the money all the time. Little bitch would not give me anything. No money, no fun, no food, no drink, and no sex. Fuckin prude little bitch go just what she deserved. But I also cannot have her saying anything so she cannot wake up you understand.”

Duane did NOT understand that at all. Mary simply HAD to wake up. And he was going to see that she did. The man lurched towards Mary and a swift kick to his knee, jamming it sideways, brought him to the ground. With lightning swift moves, Duane hit the call button on the bed rail and then proceeded to secure the man to the ground. It was now that Duane noticed the knife in his hand and Duane made sure that found a nice safe secure spot in the man’s leg. He cried out in pain as the nurse walked in. Duane insisted she get the security guard and notify the doctors and Detective Shields that the man had been apprehended.

As … … the man out, the doctors were rushing in. Apparently something had gone badly again and Mary was fading fast. The heart was simply not going to be compatible with her system. They needed to find a new donor and fast. Someone with AB+ blood and a high RBC count. Duane’s attention was caught suddenly. “Did you say AB+? I am AB+.”

The doctors simply said that that was nice but as he was living at present, he was not a suitable donor. This was not a kidney were he had another one, or a liver where he could donate part of it, or bone marrow where he would simply produce more. No, this was a heart, and that they cannot kill one living person (ie – removing his heart would most definitely kill him) in order to save another living person. Duane tried to insist but the doctors and hospital would hear nothing of it. Suddenly Duane was back to feeling responsible for the impending death of Mary. The person that brought him out of this depressive mood a few years ago, was now not able to bring him out of it because she was partly the cause of it. Duane was doing some serious soul searching and thinking and walking. He would have been just fine had he not been walking probably but as it were he walked right into the same location as the man that was the root cause of this entire mess. The man saw Duane and broke free from the detective and slammed into Duane with all his weight. He had only meant to knock him back a little bit, he had not anticipated Duane’s distraction and when Duane was hit that hard, Duane staggered backwards and tripped over some wooden pallets and fell right in to the path of the trash truck that drove directly over his head. Duane was now dead. The detective … no time in getting emergency help out the door for him, but it was too late. But one of the nursing staff that was on site was familiar with the Kinsvater case and had heard Duane pleading just earlier. She quickly made some calls and the tests were being done within minutes. It looked like he was going to be a match for sure.

48 hours later, Duane was being cremated at the nearby morgue, and Mary was slowly coming around, very groggy, and soon to be very sad. But the news of her life would wait a while longer and the news of her friend’s death and sacrifice would wait just a bit longer still. Mary had to be stronger to hear it first.

He saved her life, she had saved his, twice. The second time, she hadn’t even known……..