woodyftl's Blog

So here’s the deal!

I’ve been married twice; 21 years, and 20 years- and both were pretty much sexual disappointments. I am, by nature, the original “Nice Guy”- faithful; and incredibly patient. (Not a pushover, though; team captain for an NCAA martial art in college.)

Wife 1; 1.5 years older than I, was not very sexual; I only remember her initiating sex like twice, in 21 years. She was pretty ok with “putting up” with it; but- enthusiasm; meh. She was one of those poor souls who somehow don’t reach orgasm. I spent a long time looking for her clit; and was never sure I ever found it. She wasn’t able to help much.

Wife 2 - is 30 years younger than I am. Everybody says we “fit”. She would always orgasm with me; and if we were both in the mood, 2-3 times for her to my once. But, even so; initiate? Nah. Spontaneous? Nah. Weird? Certainly not. And oddly; HYPER sensitive. Lick her clit? No way to do it light enough; too intense to stand- so; no. Which really … me off, because she had the best smelling pussy I’ve ever run into. Delicious. I would deeply inhale it off my fingers (and mustache) for hours after I’d managed to steal a little cunnilingus (once a year.) Seriously- would make the world’s most expensive perfume. Sigh. She never believed me. My ideal partner? In that situation- would once a day, or so, put her fingers up her pussy, and then sneak them under my nose; rubbing the scent deep in my mustache. Maybe with breakfast coffee.. I’d never know when she would attack me; and she’d never forget to attack.

Then we had a baby, which we both wanted very much- but the bloody kid did not sleep through the night until she was 3; some of you know what that means. Then in a few more years- wife had a serious misunderstanding with a draft horse stallion; and wound up with 18 pieces of titanium on her leg. Couple painful years.

Now- she tells me- after long conversations with her shrink- she truly is; and probably always was- asexual. Just; in her entire life, I was the only man who ever turned her on. (think about that!) If she does “it” now- and she’s willing, “for me” - it’s just irritating for her. Which, oddly, is not what I’m looking for in my sex partner. … off pity sex! What a turn on! Is my partner’s pleasure important?? Jeezzzus. Nothing is a bigger mindblowing all-day turn on than making your partner ... dangle. Dangle... Writhe. Dangle... and.. explode. What both my wives “gave” me was - “... um.... huh? what, NOW?... uh.. oh... I suppose... what are you doing?? come on, I’m too tired to make a big deal out of this.... uh.... huh..... there we go. you’ve got the tissues on your side again... did you take the chicken out to thaw?”

So. Wife 2 knows, and approves, of my looking hereabouts. It makes her sad- and she thinks it’s funny as hell. Ok then.

So what do I want? SOMEBODY OWES ME 40 YEARS OF FUCKING!!! Like right now.

Good sex. Lustful. Loving. Sweet. Ferocious. Bestial. Pan. Sleepy. Wake up. Nooners. Cock-up-your-tail Hour. Feeling your naked pussy up under the restaurant table cloth. Me god, … And His Naughty Little Elf Girl(s) Get Naughtier. And anything else you can think of. In fact. What about Muskrat Fun, and Double Hannenframmis? Show me how.

Realities- I’m recognizable; and for business reasons need to make serious efforts to be “discreet.” But I need to get LAID too! So I’ll steal hours and days and nights whenever I can. k! I hope that answers some of your questions, and makes you wet. If you email/message me, I WILL answer, though it might take a day or two.

Dream a little dream of me- and I do have visions of sugar-plum fairies dancing in my brain now...

Maybe more here, in the days ahead. Go ahead and ask for clarification on - anything.