NEVERcummingback's Blog

Lesson Number One

By Nevercummingback

I could see him approaching the door through the window of his upstairs apartment as I scaled the old creaky stairs out back. He is just beautiful, I think, before blushing and looking away. My heart is pounding and I’m feeling so nervous, but I don't want to further add to my embarrassment by letting him know how I feel. I’m such a control freak. I am here for a lesson in submission, but I am controlling my emotions before I step across the threshold...

We dispense with idle chit chat quickly, and I’m trying to hide what must show in my eyes. All the fear and the passion surging through my body are making me feel high before we have even begun.

"Stand up"

Yes, sir.

"You are not very flexible" he says as he is bending my arms behind me and assessing the situation.

I choke the impulse to argue and call him a bastard.

Yes, sir.

He grabs me firmly by the hair and pulls. I feel a sharp pain down my neck; I am startled but fight the fear back.

"Walk", he commands.

Yes, sir

I move into the hall, into his bedroom, hearing the pounding of my heart matching the click of my heels on his hardwood floor. I fight the tears. Tonight I will not submit them to him, I can't. While I know logically I am to submit, I am able to only in body, not in mind.

I breathe and try to relax as he directs me to stand up against the wall. I feel the cold metal of the cuffs as he snaps them onto my wrists behind my back.

"oes this hurt?"

Yes, sir.

He opens them some. He patiently explains how they work and that they lock. At no time will I feel them tighten against me, he says. I relax into the moment…I must get out of my head. He is kind and caring.

"Are you okay?"

Yes.

"Yes what?"

Yes, sir. Oh my God, I am nervous and I can't think. Stop thinking, I say to myself. It's impossible.

"Now I am going to use these ropes"

Yes, sir.

Methodically he begins to bind and tie. He explains that this is a chest harness and is largely for artistic purposes. It pulls at my shoulders, but at the same time I am finding it so erotic. I stopped breathing at some point. He leans in behind me, and I can feel his breath on my neck.

"Breathe."

A giggle escapes my lips. A nasty nervous habit. He grabs me quickly from behind and puts his hand across my mouth.

"Breathe. Relax and breathe."

I am more conscious of my breathing at that moment than I have ever been; it is euphoric. His smell is … the feel of his heat against my back, his cock now in my handcuffed palms. He releases me.

"This is a ball gag. If you are uncomfortable in any way, I will remove it."

Yes, sir. I want to submit. It scares me, but I knew this part would be the hardest to overcome. When he begins, I find the fear too much. It is not the ball, it is the wrapping straps around my throat. I am frightened but I will not cry. I wait for the question.

"Are you okay?"

No.

"No?"

No, sir.

"What is wrong?"

I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I feel a panic attack begin to well up in my chest. For a moment, I think I will suffocate. I think I am going to pass out here on the floor in these beautiful heels. He unbuckles and pulls it out of my mouth and off my throat.

"What is interesting is a girl will take a cock in her mouth, but put in a ball gag and she freaks out."

"Are you okay?"

Yes.

"Yes?" He turns me around quickly and puts his hand back across my mouth. I suppress the urge to start crying and heaving…the fear is intense in the pit of my stomach.

"You have no issue complying with terms of respect while we are online but seem to have a problem when we are in person.”

I want to scream. Beg him to understand this is not insolence, it is inexperience. I am completely freaking out on the inside and trying desperately to hide it.

I am so embarrassed. He lets me go.

Yes, sir.

I stand there for a moment as he caresses my breasts, pinching my nipples hard.

"o you like this?"

Yes, sir. But it is too hard. I fight the urge to cry through the pain, and realize I am so wet that I can feel my juices running down my thigh in my jeans since I opted for no panties. He begins to untie the ropes.

"Spread your legs."

I move slightly to accommodate the request as he firmly places his hand between my legs. I realize I am not breathing again, but this time I don't care. I just want him to pull my jeans down and fuck me like this.

"I will not fuck you tonight. I know you want me to. This will be your punishment, do you understand?" He begins to take off the cuffs and slides his hand once more between my legs.

"Next time, I will tie you up and eat your pussy. Would you like that?"

Yes, sir. I laugh. This is just wrong, I tell him.

"I know. Isn't it great?"

Not really. I am so high with all the adrenaline pumping I can't think. I can't … an argument. I want to appeal but don’t know how.

Okay, I say…I walk to the living room to get my things. He helps me with my jacket while I’m still trying to figure out what just happened. I am overwhelmed with emotion. This is the first time I want to relent and cry.

"ssssssst."

I turn into him and he leans down to kiss me. I reach up to touch him and realize I shouldn't have because now I want him, and I can’t turn it off. It felt like that moment lasted an hour because I can remember every detail, but it was short and now it’s over. As he walks me to the door, I turn and offer a cheek.

One for the road, sir?

"Sure". He smacks me hard on my ass.

I hear the same clicking of my heels on the decent down the stairs, competing again with the beating of my heart. The darkness smells so good as I move in silence to my car. Everything around me has stopped. In that moment, there is only me inside my mind once more, and it is glorious.