adanaliyik360's Blog

Over the years, I've noticed that women seem to have a kind of radar that detects a man's relationship status. You know the one I'm talking about. The one where when you're in the market for a relationship, girls won't even look at you. But, as soon as you find one girl, you get obvious offers from lots of girls. Some folks say its pheremones that a man gives off when he's on the prowl, and that women smell the desperation. Some say its the way you look around, trying to spot likely prospects that tips girls off. And, some say its the way you carry yourself when you don't have a girl that's the clue. It could even be some kind of psychic vibe you give off that women pick up on.

I call it radar, because it seems to work even when the girl can't see you or even smell you. I mean, as soon as you get a girl, other girls start smiling and winking at you from across the room. Yet, when you didn't have a girl, these other women would pay you no attention at all. And, when you walk into a place where the women's backs are turned to you, they will suddenly turn around and check you out. But when you didn't have a girl, even walking up behind them and talking to them wouldn't get them to look at you. It even works long distance, like having girls at some business you call become flirty on the phone or on the internet. Ok, maybe the psychic thing, some kind of sixth sense, since it works under all conditions. Still, for the sake of simplicity, I'll stick with my original term and call it radar.

The funny thing is that while all women seem to have it, they don't seem to realize that they do, or that other women have it as well. For example, take the girl you saw and talked to at the office every day, who never gave you so much as the time of day when you had no one in your life. Then, as soon as you find someone, even though she doesn't know about it consciously, this girl starts offering you her phone number. And, if you were stupid enough to ask why the sudden interest after years of ignoring you, she honestly wouldn't know why. By the same token, if your new relationship is short lived, the girl at the office will lose interest again. And, her answer to that question would be that you didn't take advantage of her offer, so it was now withdrawn. Yet, that interest would flare again if you found someone else, and the girl at the office wouldn't know why. So, I've come to the conclusion that they really don't know they have this radar.

The other side of this only becomes truly apparent when you don't know a lot of women. I've had many occasions when the girl I was with would ask who the girl was that was smiling, winking or waving at me. I'd turn to look, and they would be women I had never seen before in my life. And when I wasn't with a girl, these girls would have never looked at me. Yet, when I try to tell them that, the girl I'm with will refuse to believe I don't know these girls. Or if they believe that, they'll think that I did something first, to make the girl wink at me. In those cases, I hadn't done anything, but try getting a woman to believe you hadn't winked at the girls first. That either shows that they don't know about the radar, or they do but they want you on the defensive from the beginning.

For those who are skeptical about this radar thing, it definitely does exist, and its existence has been well documented. True, there are as many theories as to how it works as there are people, like my calling it a kind of radar. But, its talked about way too much by way too many people to not be real. You know, the fact that when you are looking for a girlfriend, you can never find one. Yet, once you find one, lots more opportunities show up. As for why it happens, there's a logical explanation for that too. If a man doesn't have a woman in his life, there must be a reason for it. He could be abusive, he could be lousy in bed, or he could have a million other problems. Whatever the reason, there must be something wrong with the loser, so women stay away from him. If he does have a woman already, there must be a reason for that too, and that makes woman wonder what it is he has. And, the less obvious what he has to offer is, the more women want to find out.

Ok, if this radar does exist, how does a guy get a girl in the first place? I mean, if all the girls avoid him because he doesn't have a woman in his life already, then he'd never be able to find one, right? Well, while all women may have this radar, they don't always pay attention to it, for many different reasons. For example, they may be introduced to the guy by friends, and the attraction overrides the warnings their radar is giving them. Or they might have more important things on their minds, like a ticking biological clock. There are also gold-diggers, thrill seekers and those so unhappy with their lives they will grasp at any chance to change it. They all disregard the alarms on the off chance that there was something wrong with the last girl, and that the guy is actually one of the good ones. And, there are even some women who actively seek out the losers, so they can be the hero who fixed what was wrong with them.

So, what do most of us guys do when this happens to us, when we start getting offers right after we find someone? We do absolutely nothing, that's what we do. We don't want to do anything that might put us back in the situation we just got out of. I mean, what if we're reading the signals wrong? What if we make a move on one of them, and not only do they reject us, they tell their friends and it gets back to the girl we just found? We're … to take that risk, even if some of the offers are better than what we've got. Besides, its obvious these girls aren't really interested in us, they're just playing games. If they had been interested, they would have been there when we had no one, not waited until we found someone, right? Now they just want to prove that they can take us away from our new girls. And as soon as they've proven that, they'll dump us as quick as they can. So, we'll stick with the only one who really wanted us, and won't do anything to risk losing her.

I've lost count of how many times I've rejected opportunities for the reasons I just gave. And, I've also lost count of how many times I've regretted those missed opportunities. Not just because the relationships I was in eventually failed, and I might have done better with one of the others. But also because, had I been willing to take the chance, I could have been having twice or three times as much sex as I was getting. Not to mention that some of the offers I turned down over the years were from women hotter than the ones I was with at the time and more than likely better in bed too. And now that I understand about the radar thing I regret those opportunities even more. That's because I now know that the offers were genuine and that I could have and should have taken advantage of them.

I recently learned something else about the radar that I never knew before, and it changed my life. I'd always figured that marriage had some effect on how the radar worked. What I mean is that a few months after you got married, the radar would automatically put you in the same category as guys who didn't have a girl in their life, even though you did. That's not the case and marital status has nothing whatsoever to do with how the radar works. That's because what triggers the radar is something like your emotional or sexual hunger level. So, a newly married person wouldn't set it off because he'd be getting everything he wanted at home. But once the honeymoon is over, the man no longer gets all the sex he wants, and his dissatisfaction with the amount of sex he's getting is what the radar picks up on.

That's why most men never take advantage of the opportunities provided by the radar. If they aren't satisfied with their sex lives, the radar will kick in and they won't get any offers. And, if they are satisfied, they'll get offers, but won't take them because of the risk that they'll lose what they already have. I used to be like that too, … to take those risks, until I learned two important things. One is that getting enough sex to stay below the radar, and get offers, is not the same as getting all the sex you want. And two, taking advantage of these offers doesn't necessarily mean you'll lose what you already have if you get caught. Or at least I learned that I wouldn't lose what I had, which is the same thing as far as I'm concerned.

Like all men, I've felt the effects of the radar whenever I've ended a relationship. And like most men, I've known enough about it to expect it to happen, and about the only way to avoid its effects. That is, to have another relationship already started before you end the one you're in. The problem with that, for men like me, is that if my relationship is good, I don't try to start a second one. And once my relationship starts failing, the radar kicks in before I think to look for the backup. That's the situation I recently found myself in, my marriage was in big trouble, and I was already starting to look for alternatives. And, as I've been saying, there were none to be found, because the radar had already kicked in. However, at the time, I assumed it was not just because I was hungry, but also because I was married. In other words, even if I had been sexually satisfied, there still wouldn't be any offers, because the radar would somehow know I was married.

That was the whole issue too, that I wasn't sexually satisfied, and hadn't been for several years. I'm not talking about being bored with the same old, like happens to a lot of men. Whenever my wife would be in the mood for sex, that sex was never boring. The problem was that she was almost never in the mood for sex, and hadn't been ever since our son was born 8 years before. If I was lucky, we had sex twice a month, and half the time it was as a make up for some fight we'd had. But, there was something that made it worse, and that was that she's a natural tease. So, imagine someone getting you worked up 3 times a week with kisses, caresses and promises, but only keeping those promises once or twice a month. Then you can also easily imagine what most of our fights were about, and why she'd offer sex as a make up. It wasn't until last year though, that things reached a critical point. That's because she made all kinds of promises about a better sex life if we had another baby. Such as how she'd be horny all the time when she was pregnant, like she'd been when pregnant with our son.

But, once she got pregnant, our sex life ended completely, because she always had a reason she wasn't in the mood. Yes, there are valid excuses, like morning sickness or cramps, that will kill a woman's desire for sex. And, those excuses I accepted without complaint. But when we went the entire 9 months with her never being in the mood, not even for me to perform oral sex on her, you can understand my frustration. And again, she made it worse by making many promises during that time that she never kept. By the end of her … I'd had my fill of her broken promises, and our almost nonexistent sex life both before and during her … Obviously, because of the fights we were having, my wife knew how close we were to a divorce. She freely admitted that it was her fault, and that what she had been and was still doing was wrong. At the same time though, she claimed that she didn't know why she did it, but that for some reason she couldn't stop herself from doing it. So, all she asked of me was that whatever I decided to do, I think of our kids before I did it.

Yes, it meant what you think it meant, I should do whatever I felt I needed to, as long as I didn't leave her and the kids. And that included cheating on her if that's what it took to keep me from divorcing her. True, she didn't want me to cheat on her, and it would hurt her if I did. And, I'd always sworn, to her and to myself, that I wouldn't cheat. But, we both knew I couldn't continue to live without sex for much longer, and this alternative would hurt her a lot less than a divorce would. So, we agreed that if an opportunity presented itself, and I took advantage of it, nothing would be said. There were, of course, some restrictions on this agreement, to keep it from hurting the kids. For example, I couldn't use dating sites to look for prospects, because the kids might see it. This prohibition even extended to late night, because my son might accidentally pull something up in my internet history. I was limited to one night a week to go out and try my luck that way, but I had to be home before the kids woke up in the morning. And, anything that might happen during the week was limited to the hours and days that I normally exercised, so the kids wouldn't notice anything strange. All restrictions that were perfectly logical, and should not have hindered my efforts in the least. Yet after two months I hadn't even gotten a single nibble, let alone caught any female fish.

I'm fairly handsome, physically fit, dress well, make decent money, and women in the past have told me I have a certain amount of charisma. So why was I having such terrible luck finding a woman? And, why were guys who had a lot less going for them than I did succeeding with women who had flat out rejected any advances that I made? It wasn't that they already knew each other, since it was obvious they'd just met the same as me. It wasn't that their techniques were better than mine, because some of them were so fake in their approaches it was funny. And, surprisingly, it wasn't that they were single and I was married, because some of them, just like me, didn't even bother to take off their rings. But, while I couldn't even get initial eye contact most of the time, and barely got past hello when I approached, they were scoring left and right. What the hell was wrong with me that these women avoided me like the plague?

Of course, as soon as I started asking myself the question, I knew the answer. I'd been picked up on the radar screen, because I was giving off hunger vibes. And, unless I found a woman who had one reason or another to ignore their radar, I'd be forever out of luck. Thing is though, I didn't want any woman who had reasons to ignore their radar because they'd want things I wasn't willing to give. I wasn't looking for a new wife, I'd gotten myself clipped so I couldn't give them kids, and I wasn't going to be anyone's passport out of this country. And, I'm way too honest to string any woman along by making her think I would give her those things. So, my wife didn't have to worry about me being able to take advantage of what she'd agreed to. It also made me wonder if my wife had agreed to those terms because she knew about the radar herself and knew there was very little chance I'd find a girl to fuck.

Then something strange and totally unexpected happened. That is that my wife suddenly wanted to start having sex again. Well, maybe not that strange if you really stop and think about it. I mean, we'd had this agreement in place for over two months, and I had yet to find anyone to take advantage of it with. And while just knowing I sort of had permission to cheat took some of the pressure off, our relationship was getting more and more strained as time went by. So, her trying to pull me back with some occasional sex kind of made sense. What was strange though was that it wasn't just an occasional thing this time around. After 9 years of little or no sex, my wife started wanting it as often as we'd had it during our first year of marriage. What had changed, I don't know, maybe hormones since she was now in what is considered the high sex drive period for women. Or maybe she'd finally figured out what her problem had been all those years. Whatever it was, I wasn't complaining about her now wanting sex two and three times a week.

The first time we made love was on a Wednesday, and my night to go out was Friday. And at that time, I thought it was just a fluke, a one time thing. So, because the real problem was a lack of sex on a recurring basis, I saw no reason to change my plans. I did however, prepare myself for an argument when she saw me packing my going out clothes in my gym bag, based on that one night of sex. But, there was no argument and no attempt to convince me to stop going out. Instead, and another surprise, she gave me a deep kiss and whispered for me to wake her when I got home, no matter what time it was. Of course, one night of sex isn't enough to turn off the radar, and again I had no luck finding a girl. When I came home though, I did get lucky with my wife, for the second time in one week. And even stranger than that, she seemed almost disappointed that I came home as early as I did.

The next week, we made love twice before Friday rolled around, once on Sunday, and once on Wednesday after I got home from the gym. And when Friday rolled around, I got another shock, instead of the expected argument. That's because when I went to pack my gym bag in the morning, I found the kind of clothes I wore to go out after the gym already laid out on the bed. There were two possibilities as to why she did that. One was as a test to see if I would put them back in the closet myself, to show that I didn't need the permission to cheat anymore now that she was giving me sex again. The other was to show that she understood that I'd still need to do this for a while, until she'd completely proven herself. I took the latter explanation, because it was the one that best fit what I was feeling. And, when I left, because she had to know I'd taken the clothes with me, I got the same kiss and the same whisper to wake her as I'd gotten the last time. By the way, there was a third reason, that she might be actively encouraging me to go out, because she actually wanted me to cheat on her. But, that reason didn't occur to me until much much later.

Anyway, things went on like this for the next month or so, sex once or twice before Friday, my clothes ready on Friday morning with the whispered goodbye, then sex as soon as I got home Friday night. And, during that month, not so much as a second glance from any women. Then, like magic, the radar tag that had kept girls away from me just disappeared. I'm not saying that because I got lucky that night and found a girl to take home. I'm saying that suddenly I had not just one, but half a dozen girls, start showing interest in me at the same time. And, two of the girls who had rejected my attempts to say hello to them actually came to where I was sitting and tried to start conversations with me. The only thing that had changed, as far as I knew, was that I was now having sex regularly, and was no longer desperate. And, while it had taken a while, whatever vibes I'd been giving off before had finally worn off.

I know you're thinking that I should have remained faithful to my wife at that point. I mean, she was taking care of my needs now, and would probably fuck me when I came home, right? So why would I need to take advantage of any of the offers I was getting? Well, that was part of the whole point about the radar, that I'd dropped off it because I wasn't needy anymore. And, wasn't that the whole reason I was going out in the first place, to find a girl to fuck? Since my wife hadn't cancelled our agreement, and was letting me go out knowing what I was trying to do, why shouldn't I do it now that I could. And, to be completely honest, there was a certain amount of payback involved for all the years of … she put me through. So, I picked what I thought was the best of the offers, and let it go where it would.

I didn't pick either of the two girls who had originally rejected me, not because they'd rejected me, but because I had much better offers than them. The girl I did choose was a shy looking brunette who happened to be sitting at the table I was sharing with my friends. And yes, I had friends there, because sitting alone week after week was something I couldn't do. During the course of the evening, as happens quite often, there was a lot of sex talk at the table. You know, single comments here and there, that if put together painted a picture of someone's sexual preferences. Like her saying that young guys didn't know anything about foreplay. Or that married men who cheated with their rings still on were more honest than most single men. And my comments about preferring slow sex because rushed orgasms weren't as good. So, by the end of the night it was plain we each had something the other was interested in, and we ended up continuing the party at her place. And, with small naps in between, we didn't finish until about 6 am, when I told her I needed to get home before my kids woke up. But, I didn't leave before she made me promise we'd do this again the next week.

Now was when all those things that should have stopped me from doing this came rushing back at me. True, we had an agreement, and true, this was supposedly why I had been going out. But, the other sides of the argument were also true, that she was now taking care of my needs, so I shouldn't have done this. And I knew that when I got home there would be a fight, or at the very least lots of crying on her part. I wasn't ready for that, because even with the short naps we took between the times we made love, I really hadn't gotten much sleep at all. So, I decided the best thing to do would be crawl into bed without waking my wife, and hope I could get a couple of hours rest before the shit hit the fan. That didn't work at all, because as soon as my weight hit the bed, my wife rolled over and her eyes opened, fully awake.

I waited for the hammer to fall, but there was no yelling, no crying, and no questions about where I'd been all night. Instead, she acted just like she'd been acting every Friday night for the last month, even if it was technically Saturday morning. That is, she kissed me deeply then started working on getting me out of the clothes I still had on. I tried to stop her, telling her I should take a shower first, but she just told me to shut up and let her have her fun. Some fun that would be when she got around to taking off my underwear. I mean, I'd just finished fucking some girl less than 20 minutes before. So, since I hadn't washed up yet, my cock was still wet and sticky with her pussy juice and my sperm. That didn't seem to bother my wife though, when she got there, because after she peeled my underwear off me, she immediately stuffed my cock halfway down her throat. And she didn't stop sucking it until I had emptied whatever I had left in my balls into her waiting mouth.

Thus began a new chapter in our sex life, with sex once or twice during the week, and a hot sexy blow job as soon as I got home on Saturday nights. And it was after a month of this new twist that I got that third reason for her laying my clothes out for me on Friday mornings. That's because a few seconds after she started sucking my cock, she raised her head and said the first words she'd said about my cheating. She told me she knew I'd fucked the girl in the ass that night, because she could taste it on my dick. Then she smiled and went right back to sucking me to a mind blowing orgasm. Since then, I've added another girl to my weekly routine, someone from the gym that I do private exercises with on Wednesdays. So now, we not only make love an average of twice a week, I'm also guaranteed two blow jobs, one each night that I'm with another girl.

As for the radar, its still working, except now it seems to be working in reverse resulting in all kinds of offers. And its effects are not limited to when I'm out alone, or to girls I've never met before. I've had girls flirt right in front of my wife and kids, and some of them have even been my wife's supposed friends. Not that my wife minds all the attention I'm getting, she's actually proud that her husband is so popular with women, and gets a thrill out of them flirting with me. As a matter of fact, she's been hinting lately that I still have a gym day I could use for a different kind of exercise. But, she's also been hinting that it would be unfair to only pick one of the many girls who want to be with me. She thinks I should take turns with them and give all the good looking ones a chance. Something about her wanting to sample a lot of different tastes instead of the same ones over and over. If that's what it takes to keep her happy, I'll gladly make that sacrifice.